Credits: http://blackamericaweb.comhttp://foxync.com
Follow Us
My life through some of the things that I love, enjoy and that are apart of my life!
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Porsha Williams’ Has Some BIG News/Tom Joyner’s New Love?
I don't know what to make of this and I really hope that this is an April fools joke. Because Tom Joyner is way to old for Porsha Williams and this would be her being nothing but a gold digger to go from a football player to a famous host of a radio show that is well known. So I really hope that this is nothing but some stupid joke gone to far, this would not be a good look for either one of them. But especially for Porsha if this is really true!
Credits: http://blackamericaweb.com
http://foxync.com
Follow Us
Credits: http://blackamericaweb.comhttp://foxync.com
Follow Us
Boy Band O-Town Is Reuniting After 10 Year Hiatus!
So I was reading online that O-TOWN is getting back together and I'm happy to hear this, I use to love them somewhat back when the first making of the band was made. So I'm excited to hear this and I hope that they last this time around and that they become even bigger then they were before!
Mon, Mar 31, 2014 | 10:39 AM
2014 is officially the year of the boy band! No, that wasn’t a typo that was supposed to say “1999.” Old school boy band members, both with their groups and individually, are up to big things this year, from touring to TV. Here’s 5 things that ’90s teeny boppers can look forward to later on this year:
PHOTOS: Adorable Pics of ’90s Pop Stars With Their Kids
1. O-Town is reuniting. Yes, our liquid dreams are becoming a reality! O-Town revealed today on their official website that they’re getting back together (minus Ashley Parker Angel), and that new music and a new tour is on its way. Here’s the video confirming the rumors:
And here’s their “Liquid Dreams” music video to refresh your memory on the greatest musical creation of 2001:
Follow Us
Mon, Mar 31, 2014 | 10:39 AM
2014 is officially the year of the boy band! No, that wasn’t a typo that was supposed to say “1999.” Old school boy band members, both with their groups and individually, are up to big things this year, from touring to TV. Here’s 5 things that ’90s teeny boppers can look forward to later on this year:
PHOTOS: Adorable Pics of ’90s Pop Stars With Their Kids
1. O-Town is reuniting. Yes, our liquid dreams are becoming a reality! O-Town revealed today on their official website that they’re getting back together (minus Ashley Parker Angel), and that new music and a new tour is on its way. Here’s the video confirming the rumors:
And here’s their “Liquid Dreams” music video to refresh your memory on the greatest musical creation of 2001:
Follow Us
Monday, March 31, 2014
Lindsay Lohan Gives Back Through Community Service - Lindsay Documentary On Own
I watched last night episode of Lindsay, Lindsay Lohan documentary show and in this episode she has to do court ordered community service. And she went to this school for less privilege kids and she bonded with this one little boy and it really tugged at my heart strings and got me all emotional. It was really beautiful to see, I loved seeing this side of her and it made me love her all that much more. And regardless of what people say about her or think about her, I truly feel in my soul after seeing her bond with these kids and this particular boy that Lindsay Lohan will make an amazing mother one day. This part of last nights show brought me to tears, it was just touching and completely heartwarming.
Follow Us
Weekly Blog Feature: Girls Of God's Heart
I chose to feature this particular blog because me being newly starting over as far as giving my life back to Christ, this blog is inspirational to me. And this blog came at the right time for me personally well I found this blog at the right time personally should I say. Also the fact that this blog is ran by women is all that much more inspirational to me and makes me love it all that much better. So everybody check it out, it's truly an inspiration, I love it!
Girl's Of God's Heart
Girl's Of God's Heart
Follow Us
Girl's Of God's Heart
Girl's Of God's Heart
Follow Us
Man Crush Monday: March-31-2014 Matt Cook
This man Matt Cook is the sexiest/hottest/finest man that I have ever seen in all my life. So I'll just let these pictures speck for themselves. But if I had to choose my ideal man based purely on look he would be it!
Follow Us
Follow Us
Creating: Diary/Journal, Smashbook/Smash journal, Dream Journal, Vision Journal
Friday, March 28, 2014
Weekly Feature: Passion 4 Baking
I'm so in love with this website, it's hands down the best website that I have ever seen, now I might be bias because pink is my favorite color. I don't know but I adore this website so much and this amazing baker Manuela Kjeilen everything that she makes and posts on her site all looks so good to eat. And I would love to taste some of the things she bakes. She's truly an artist in the kitchen in my opinion!
Passion 4 Baking
Picture Credits: http://www.passionforbaking.com/
Manuela Kjeilen
Passion 4 Baking
Passion 4 Baking
Picture Credits: http://www.passionforbaking.com/
Manuela Kjeilen
Passion 4 Baking
Disney World With My Son March-26-2014
Disney Parade With My Son 03/26/2014 from Quantae on Vimeo.
Disclaimer: All the content on this posting is ALL MINE!!
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Man Crush Monday March-24-2014: Kyle Busch
Since my favorite driver won the race on Sunday I decided to make Kyle Busch as my man crush Monday on Instagram this week, he's well deserving of it. Even though he's not my type to date, he still deserves it for winning the race!
Drinking Problems/Personal Blogging/Grow Ass Immaturity!
I don't know if I talked about this in the posting that I posted a couple weeks ago about drinking being glorified or not. But either way it's something that I feel like I need to talk to now just from all the reality shows that I watch and from some other things that I've seen and heard in life. And that being the fact that I feel like people can be alcoholics without having drank all day everyday, I personally feel like if you can't take a drink or drink without acting a fool or falling out then you have a drinking problem. People have it all wrong when it comes to drinking and having a drinking problem. If a person can't act normal after having a few drinks then they have a drinking problem. There are more then one way to have a drinking problem in my opinion and this is something that people need to realize.
And especially on these reality shows, some of these women/people are the biggest alcoholics there are. And the fact that it's being shown on TV and the fact that these people are influences on younger people and kids but they are clearly alcoholics is a problem. And it's not something that should be shown on TV and these people need to get help. And these TV companies need to stop broadcasting certain things and stop letting certain people be on their shows!
So then there is another thing from watching the reunion of a show called Blood Sweat And Heels that I watched which is also the video above that caught my attention because it's something that I wrote about in one of my postings last week. And that's about people like me that have personal blogs and we/I blog/write about things that happen in our lives. Rather it be an actual event that happened in our/my lives/life. Or if it's an actual conversation that we had with somebody/people. And in this video of the reunion of Blood Sweat And Heels the ladies which is the cast of the show had a luncheon together. And one of the ladies is an blogger and she wrote on her blog about what happened at the lunch with the ladies. And some of the ladies didn't like what she wrote on her blog. And she like me felt like because the conversation that she had with some of the ladies at the luncheon wasn't a big deal or anything personal.
And that's how I felt about the situation that I had with my now ex friend, what I wrote on my blog wasn't a big deal or anything personal that we talked about. And I like the woman from this cast that's also a blogger, my blog is about my life. Rather it be an event that's happening in my life or a conversation that I have with a person/people that I don't feel is important or a big deal. Whatever I feel the need to share here I will, my blog is my therapy. But if there is something that I feel is important, meant to be private or is a big deal between me and somebody else then NO I WILL NOT SHARE IT ON MY BLOG! I'm not that inconsiderate but my blog is an open book into my life, my opinions and other things that I choose to share with the world. And that's all to that, END OF STORY WHEN IT COMES TO THAT!
One other thing that's on my mind is I watch these reality shows, like Basketball Wives/Love And Hip Hop and shows like this. And as much as I do love them sometimes it gets to the point where it's like ladies some of you are way to old to act the way you do. Some of these women are in their forties but yet they act like they are still in high school. And it's just sad and pathetic and they are extremely immature and seriously NEED to GROW THE HELL UP. And learn the adult way to handle situations and for these women to act this way on national television is even more immature. And then some of them have adult children or children themselves and what kind of example are they sitting for their kids. And what kind of example are they setting for women, it's just ridiculous how these women act. They seriously need to take hard looks in the mirror and grow up. They just make themselves look stupid!
Credits: http://www.ddotomen.com
http://atlantablackstar.com/
Get More:
Basketball Wives LA
Monday, March 24, 2014
Dance Mom's Abby Lee Miller/Cathy Nesbitt-Stein Immaturity
And the reason why I say this is because of some of the things she does on the show, like for instance. She had one of her dancers dance to the same song that she knew that one of Abby Lee Miller's dancers danced to in a competition just to get under Abby's skin. She calls Abby names all the time on the show when they get in arguments, I just feel like Cathy is so immature in how she acts on the show when it comes to Abby Lee Miller.
It's just so childish the way that these two women act, and to be training these young girls and to act this way and to do it in front of these girls and to do it on TV is beyond me. And its shameful to be honest but how all the women act on this show is so immature and the other women being the mom's. They are just as immature as Abby and Cathy. But Abby and Cathy are the worse to me, to always be talking about each other and always trying to get back at each other. And always trying to one up each other is just plain immature. They BOTH NEED TO GROW UP and let their work on the stage speak for each other and mind you that these women don't even live in the same state at that. Abby is in Pittsburgh and Cathy is in Ohio. So I mean seriously ladies GET THE HELL OVER IT AND GROW UP, y'all are BOTH TO OLD TO ACT THE WAY YOU DO!
Video Credits: http://www.mylifetime.com/
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Mica Hughes Performs “The Turkey Bacon Song”: DUMBEST SONG EVER!
I have no words for this, all I can say is that I think that my IQ has went down again from watching this video and hearing this stupid song. And I love me some Mica Hughes but WHAT THE FUCK is this really all about?! Who makes a song called "Turkey Bacon", I mean seriously though. But hey I will say that if I listen to this song on a empty stomach that it will make me hungry for some turkey bacon but I mean I thought that I had heard it all musically. But I seriously think that this trumps them all as far as stupidity goes when it comes to songs!
Credits: http://www.bravotv.com/
Kyle Busch wins thrilling Auto Club 400
Just got done watching this weeks race and boy that was some kind of miracle that Kyle Busch won the race, he literally pulled it out in the last lap. I was sitting on the edge of my bed praying that he would win and he did. And I couldn't be happier because he is my favorite driver. So I say to you Kyle Busch, I'm so happy and proud of you, you more then deserved this win and congratulations! Oh I'm so happy right now, this win has made my day completely!
Kyle Busch avoided a myriad of tire issues among the field to hold on and grab his second-straight Auto Club 400 win at Auto Club Speedway in Fontana, Calif. on Sunday.
The victory is the Joe Gibbs Racing driver's first of the season. He joins Dale Earnhardt Jr., Kevin Harvick, Brad Keselowski and Carl Edwards among those who've virtually punched their tickets to the Chase for the Sprint Cup.
Busch held off rookie Kyle Larson -- who took home his first Nationwide Series victory Saturday -- on the final green-white-checkered restart.
Larson was trailed by Kurt Busch, Matt Kenseth and Tony Stewart to complete the top-five.
Harvick had a tire go down early in the race to bring out the first caution of the day, taking on some right side damage to his No. 4 Stewart-Haas Racing Chevrolet. Luckily for him, there was plenty of race left and he recovered to make it back into the top three later in the race, but had another left rear go down with 62 laps remaining. He finished 36th.
Before the race even hit 50 laps, Earnhardt Jr.'s front left tire went down, putting him into the wall for some minor right side damage. Earnhardt made it back up to the top 10 but eventually fell back to finish 12th.
Stewart spun out and took some damage on Lap 56 but recovered for his second straight top-five finish.
Brian Scott and Aric Almirola got into each other before the midway point of the race, ending Almirola's day.
“It's pretty obvious what happened. The 33 (of Scott) was obviously a dart without feathers and coming across the race track," said Almirola. "He ran right into me. It's a shame for our Farmland team, our Ford Fusion was getting a lot better. We didn't start off the race like we had wanted to but got it a lot better. Man, he came from all the way at the bottom of the race track and ran into me. He's not even racing this series for points. He's out there having fun because his daddy gets to pay for it and he wrecked us. That’s frustrating.”
Parker Kligerman hit the wall on Lap 85 after making contact with Casey Mears. Kligerman later took to Twitter to express his frustration, saying: "The 13 car dumped me for no reason. Was having an AWESOME day. Never been through anything like the last (two) months."
Only minutes before the start of the race, Joe Gibbs Racing officials announced that driver Denny Hamlin was not medically cleared to race because of a sinus infection that is causing vision problems. Sam Hornish Jr. drove the No. 11 FedEx Toyota in his place and finished 17th.
Joey Logano -- who battled with Hamlin down to the wire at Auto Club last year -- had a rear end gear failure and finished 39th.
Last week's winner, Edwards, spun out at one point, putting him a lap down. He came back to finish 10th.
Edwards took over the Sprint Cup Series points lead; he now has 186, one more than Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Credits: http://www.nascar.com
http://instagram.com
Kyle Busch
Kyle Busch avoided a myriad of tire issues among the field to hold on and grab his second-straight Auto Club 400 win at Auto Club Speedway in Fontana, Calif. on Sunday.
The victory is the Joe Gibbs Racing driver's first of the season. He joins Dale Earnhardt Jr., Kevin Harvick, Brad Keselowski and Carl Edwards among those who've virtually punched their tickets to the Chase for the Sprint Cup.
Busch held off rookie Kyle Larson -- who took home his first Nationwide Series victory Saturday -- on the final green-white-checkered restart.
Larson was trailed by Kurt Busch, Matt Kenseth and Tony Stewart to complete the top-five.
Harvick had a tire go down early in the race to bring out the first caution of the day, taking on some right side damage to his No. 4 Stewart-Haas Racing Chevrolet. Luckily for him, there was plenty of race left and he recovered to make it back into the top three later in the race, but had another left rear go down with 62 laps remaining. He finished 36th.
Before the race even hit 50 laps, Earnhardt Jr.'s front left tire went down, putting him into the wall for some minor right side damage. Earnhardt made it back up to the top 10 but eventually fell back to finish 12th.
Stewart spun out and took some damage on Lap 56 but recovered for his second straight top-five finish.
Brian Scott and Aric Almirola got into each other before the midway point of the race, ending Almirola's day.
“It's pretty obvious what happened. The 33 (of Scott) was obviously a dart without feathers and coming across the race track," said Almirola. "He ran right into me. It's a shame for our Farmland team, our Ford Fusion was getting a lot better. We didn't start off the race like we had wanted to but got it a lot better. Man, he came from all the way at the bottom of the race track and ran into me. He's not even racing this series for points. He's out there having fun because his daddy gets to pay for it and he wrecked us. That’s frustrating.”
Parker Kligerman hit the wall on Lap 85 after making contact with Casey Mears. Kligerman later took to Twitter to express his frustration, saying: "The 13 car dumped me for no reason. Was having an AWESOME day. Never been through anything like the last (two) months."
Only minutes before the start of the race, Joe Gibbs Racing officials announced that driver Denny Hamlin was not medically cleared to race because of a sinus infection that is causing vision problems. Sam Hornish Jr. drove the No. 11 FedEx Toyota in his place and finished 17th.
Joey Logano -- who battled with Hamlin down to the wire at Auto Club last year -- had a rear end gear failure and finished 39th.
Last week's winner, Edwards, spun out at one point, putting him a lap down. He came back to finish 10th.
Edwards took over the Sprint Cup Series points lead; he now has 186, one more than Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Credits: http://www.nascar.com
http://instagram.com
Kyle Busch
Ashton Kutcher & Mila Kunis Kiss on the Clippers' Kiss Cam
Cute little kiss between Asthon Kutcher and Mila Kunis at a Clippers basketball game...
Credits: http://www.justjared.com
Credits: http://www.justjared.com
GMA' 'Happy' Video Premiere
So funny and cute Good Morning America Happy video...
ABC US News | ABC Business News
Credits: http://abcnews.go.com
ABC US News | ABC Business News
Credits: http://abcnews.go.com
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Reveal - Nationwide Insurance
Another new nationwide inssurance commercial featuring the beautiful Jana Kramer that was revealed two days ago!
Reveal - Nationwide Insurance
In the Nation, it's not
always pretty. Add *Brand New Belongings and if your things are stolen
or destroyed, we'll replace them with brand-new versions. To learn more
about Brand New Belongings visit: http://www.nationwide.com/b...
* Brand New Belongings is an optional feature. Exclusions and limits apply. Damaged items may be repaired in some cases. Details vary by state and policy language. Please consult your policy for the specifics of your selected coverages. Nationwide Mutual Insurance Company and Affiliated Companies. Columbus, OH. Products and discounts not available to all persons in all states. Not all Nationwide affiliated companies are mutual companies, and not all Nationwide members are insured by a mutual company.
* Brand New Belongings is an optional feature. Exclusions and limits apply. Damaged items may be repaired in some cases. Details vary by state and policy language. Please consult your policy for the specifics of your selected coverages. Nationwide Mutual Insurance Company and Affiliated Companies. Columbus, OH. Products and discounts not available to all persons in all states. Not all Nationwide affiliated companies are mutual companies, and not all Nationwide members are insured by a mutual company.
Exclusive: Evelyn Lozada Has Given Birth! Get The Details On Her New Baby Boy
Congratulations Evelyn Lozada!
Evelyn Lozada, star of VH1′s Basketball Wives who also happens to be columnist for us here at OKMagazine.com, is a mom again!
PHOTOS: Evelyn Lozada and More Amazing Celebrity Pregnancy Selfies
We can exclusively report that Evelyn and her fiance, Carl Crawford, welcomed a healthy baby boy on Saturday, 3/22 at 3:55 am MST. The baby’s name hasn’t been revealed yet, but he weighed in at 8lbs and is 21 inches long. It was a natural birth. New dad Carl is so excited and so is mommy!
OK! News: Are Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher Pregnant?!
Evelyn, who already has a daughter named Shaniece, prepped for labor by posting makeup-free selfies and photos of her baby boy-inspired manicure on her Instagram page. Hey, you gotta feel and look your best before you meet your kid for the first time, right?
Credits: http://okmagazine.com/
Twitter
PHOTOS: Evelyn Lozada and More Amazing Celebrity Pregnancy Selfies
We can exclusively report that Evelyn and her fiance, Carl Crawford, welcomed a healthy baby boy on Saturday, 3/22 at 3:55 am MST. The baby’s name hasn’t been revealed yet, but he weighed in at 8lbs and is 21 inches long. It was a natural birth. New dad Carl is so excited and so is mommy!
OK! News: Are Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher Pregnant?!
Evelyn, who already has a daughter named Shaniece, prepped for labor by posting makeup-free selfies and photos of her baby boy-inspired manicure on her Instagram page. Hey, you gotta feel and look your best before you meet your kid for the first time, right?
Credits: http://okmagazine.com/
Brian Vickers, the whole story
I was watching NASCAR practice race yesterday for the big race tomorrow and even though I've heard many times in the last year about Brian Vickers struggles with blood clots, when I heard about him having this blood clot site paint scheme for this weeks race. And him sharing his story online I had to go read it. And I knew that I would want to post about it. Because of what I had already heard about this situation the last year I already knew that it was inspirational. But for Brian Vickers to share his story made it all that much more inspirational.
Geoff Burke/Getty Images/NASCARBrian Vickers isn't one to sit back and watch. He's looking for answers to everything he faces, personally and professionally.
CHARLOTTE, N.C. -- Brian Vickers'
compact body sinks easily into the backrest of a chic red couch inside
the mobile dance club his sponsor, Red Bull, brings to the racetrack
periodically. Thirty yards directly in front of him is the backstretch
at Charlotte Motor Speedway, the track that holds in its soul his
childhood dreams.
Vickers grew up 58 miles to the north and east of this spot, in Thomasville, the son of a racer. From the time he strapped on Pampers he was groomed to strap on a helmet and strap into a race car. Driving four wheels to the brink of their collective limit was his life's calling.
And here he sits, on an overcast Saturday morning, discussing at length the unthinkable truth that he, at just 26 years old, faces: His passion has been stripped from him, and he has no say whatsoever in when he'll get it back.
And above that, he's fortunate to even be breathing.
"People have asked me, 'How close were you to dying?' You know, I don't know. The doctors don't know," Vickers said. "With clots, they travel, they move in your system. They go to the wrong place and, yeah, you're done.
"It could have ended really badly, really quick. Or it could have been a couple of days. But, ultimately, had I not gone, it was not going to end well. I mean, there was no question. There was no debate that had I not gone to the hospital, that it was going to turn out worst-case scenario -- it was just when. I got lucky."
It is hair-raising to understand just how lucky.
But he was young, ate well and exercised often, he reasoned. He was in the prime of his life and career. It was nothing, he told himself time and again. He convinced himself it would subside if he ignored it. That night it did.
He managed to make it through Monday night, and on Tuesday he flew to Washington, D.C. The following morning, he would meet with Congressman Alcee Hastings and tour the city with friends before heading to visit soldiers at Walter Reed Hospital.
Tuesday night, though, the pain grew worse yet. Vickers knew he was in trouble, but again brushed off the symptoms. He was terrified to contact a doctor, for fear he'd be told he couldn't race.
He knew the truth, and didn't want to face it.
He popped an Advil PM and rolled back over. Eventually, he fell asleep.
"Worst
pain I've ever felt, for sure," he said. "It felt like someone was
beating my chest with a sledge hammer every time I took a breath. It
wasn't smart, and I very easy could have not woke up."
Vickers did awake Wednesday, and he felt better. He would later learn that standing erect repositioned the clots in his lungs, and thus helped the pain. Vickers and his friends went about their business Wednesday morning, touring the Capitol, the White House and the Washington Monument. His lungs burned like fire the entire time. He thought he had a rib injury. It was his lung. And the pain got progressively more intense.
"When I look back at that day … I'm just so lucky," he said.
He wanted to ignore it again, but chose to call his doctor, Scott McNair, in Charlotte. McNair then called Dr. Jerry Petty, NASCAR's chief physician, who suggested Vickers to do the same. Vickers called Dr. Petty for guidance regarding a general physician in D.C. he might visit when his tour of the city was complete.
Petty didn't hesitate. He implored Vickers to get to the emergency room immediately. Vickers, young and hardheaded, felt it was overkill.
He finally agreed to go.
Then he went to tour the Lincoln Memorial.
Then he attended a 3 p.m. business meeting.
"I was so stupid," he said. "The emergency room is just such a hassle."
Vickers didn't go to the ER until Petty and McNair called him back to check on him.
"They knew I wouldn't go," he said. "I just didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want them to tell me I couldn't race this weekend."
Petty had an inkling what Vickers' issue was -- blood clots -- and had spoken to some doctors about the best facility to treat them. Vickers was mere steps from Georgetown Hospital, one of the country's best medical facilities. But for Vickers' condition, Washington Hospital Center was the preferred location. So Petty told Vickers to get in a cab and get to WHC immediately.
Knowing what he knows now, Vickers said he should have just walked into Georgetown. But, again, he was being stubborn. He still felt he'd pulled a muscle. But he jumped in a cab anyway.
It was rush hour, and traffic was at a standstill. So Vickers got out of the cab and walked 12 blocks to WHC. The last three, it began to rain. So he ran.
"That was not very smart," he said. "I didn't want to get wet. And then I really started having a hard time breathing. And right when I got to the hospital, I mean, I was really, really hurting.
"When I got to the hospital after a little three-block jog, I realized, I mean, I'm used to riding a bike for 60 miles. When I couldn't breathe after two-and-a-half-blocks, I was like 'Uh-oh … something's way wrong.' "
When Vickers arrived at the ER he was in tremendous pain. The waiting room was packed and his concern spiked, but when he described his symptoms they rushed him back and tried immediately to give him a CT scan.
He had a difficult time lying down for the scan. The pain was too intense. He couldn't breathe. At best, he could take only shallow breaths.
"The whole time I was trying to think, 'Come on, we can fix this, I'll race this weekend,' " he said. "I was asking all the wrong questions. 'I've got to be at the track Friday. Practice starts at 11.'
"And they were looking like at me like, 'Are you crazy? You need to be asking us if you're going to live. Not what time practice starts.' "
"They were trying to work me up to it, knew that I wasn't going to take it very well," he said. "When they said 'blood clots,' I didn't know nearly enough about blood clots when I was told that, but I know a lot now. I did know enough that I knew it was a major problem."
Vickers' team suffers along with him. Not only is he the franchise, he's also a little brother of sorts for Red Bull Racing GM Jay Frye.
"This hurts all of us so much," Frye said. "It's weird. It's one of those deals where he was doing nothing wrong, and it happened out of the blue. It's something you can't predict, and that's got to be hugely frustrating for him. He's frustrated, and were frustrated for him. You ask, 'Why did it happen?' It's something you can't see. He was having pain originally, and thank God he was. That's why Dr. Petty recommended he go to the hospital."
His parents, Clyde and Ramona, were out of town. He admits he missed them. He gave them only vague details so he wouldn't alarm them.
"They wanted to get there right then, and I was like, 'No, no, it's fine, I'll be ok.' There's no immediate danger,' " he said. "I didn't want them to panic, hoping I'd get out soon and get back home."
Three weeks later, Clyde struggles, as any parent would, seeing his son face this situation.
"As a parent it's very concerning to see him go through this, and knowing what it's doing to him to not be in the racecar," Clyde Vickers said. "On the outside I don't think he shows it, but on the inside I can tell it's just eating him alive."
"I was pretty torn up about it, I think, internally," Brian Vickers said. "But I don't show my emotion externally. I just kind of hold it in, process it and move on. I don't think it really hit me until the press conference."
He didn't mince words or dodge questions, but rather told the world he had a blood-clotting condition that would render him unable to race a car for the remainder of the 2010 season. Six months on the shelf. He and his doctors did not know the cause, and he would be on blood thinners for the foreseeable future.
It was at that moment -- when those words left his lips -- that the magnitude of the situation hit him.
"It didn't hit me when the doctors told me," he said. "It hit me when I said it. It was so weird. I wasn't expecting it, this whole process to catch up to me and it was almost like, almost like going through a death, like a family member or a friend.
"Sometimes you don't really have closure, you don't really process what's happened until the funeral. For me, the media center press conference was the funeral. That's when it hit me.
"In fact, I was still in that moment where you analyze, process, deal with that situation, figure out the best way to deal with it. It was just all business. And then, when I was sitting there in that press room -- that's when I could feel in my heart where all the emotion hit me."
So imagine his trepidation about a situation that offers no answers.
"For me, everything's black and white, everything's determined," he said. "I want to have a process, and have answers. And there's a lot of answers that I don't have, and there's some that I may never get. But that's just something … maybe that's something I'm supposed to learn."
Porter Stowell, Vickers' buddy, was with Vickers that day. He toured DC with him. He ran to the hospital with him in the rain. He sat with Vickers when doctors brought the news.
"Throughout the whole time he wanted answers. The only time he complained is when he wasn't getting straight answers," Stowell said. "It takes a while for you to own your new condition. I thought Brian did that really fast, the whole process of denial or 'I'm not going to race.' He embraced his new reality very quickly."
"I was upset about it, but it wasn't going to change. So I had to accept it and evaluate it, make a decision and move on," Vickers said.
Vickers can't fully move on. His doctors still don't
know what caused the blood clots, which began in his legs and moved to
his lungs. They've analyzed and reanalyzed the activities that led up to
the clotting -- the fire at Texas Motor Speedway after the blown tire,
running two races at Talladega in one day, long flights.
"It's funny, I go to the hospital in Washington and it's all business," Vickers said. "They ask every question they have to ask, every procedure, doesn't matter whether they think they know the answer to it. They're like, 'Were you in a car accident? Have you been around smoke? Have you been in a car for a long period of time? Have you been on long flights?' I was like, 'Yes!' They were like, 'To which one?' I said, 'All of them.' "
The biggies are the hereditary tests, the predisposition testing. If Vickers' condition was hereditary, he'd be inclined to take blood thinners for the rest of his life. Racing is not an option for a driver on blood thinners.
So far, all hereditary testing is negative.
"That's great news," he said. "Every test that comes back negative, that creates more questions. But at the same time it answers a lot of questions. The immediate concern was, like Factor 5 and some of these other tests, would mean I was going to be on blood thinner for the rest of my life."
The blood thinners are keeping Vickers out of the car. A high-impact crash while on blood thinners could result in an inability to stop internal bleeding.
"They can't get to it, if you hit your head and you bust a blood vessel, it'll kill you," he said. "You can't stop it, at least if you can't get to the hospital in a certain amount of time."
Blood thinners help prevent new clots. They do not dissipate those already in the body. The body has to break down existing clots naturally.
"The blood thinner kind of just gives your body a chance to catch up," Vickers said. "That's why it takes so long. There's no magic pill to make them go away."
Vickers' forthright approach made his competitors reevaluate their perspectives, too.
"The way I see things, I know at some point I'll retire," said Jimmie Johnson, one of Vickers' closest friends. "I don't know how, why, or when. We all have that reality, that there's an ending-point out there. You dream of it being a glorious swan song, but you just don't know.
"I dont think anyone's thought it through in great detail. And so you put Brian in the situation he's in -- in his heart he knows he's healthy and young and very hopeful they'll figure out what's causing the problem, so he can find his way back into the car.
"As time goes on, whatever the situation is, if he can't be in the car … that reality over the next few months and year … that reality will be much more difficult for him to handle. I admire his persepctive right now, and how he's handling it. I tried to imagine it was me. I can't. I can't imagine going through that."
But Vickers will not sit idle and wait. Like every facet of his life, he seeks answers.
"I'm certainly proud of his talent, and what he can do with a racecar if everything is like it's supposed to be," Clyde Vickers said of his son. "But I'm also proud that he is intelligent, and he reads books and he tries to learn, and he's very smart and has a lot of business savvy about him.
"That's like this situation he's going through with the blood and the clots -- he's reading books and magazine articles and talking to doctors all over the country. And I know is he's trying to absorb all that knowledge so he can deal with it. I'm very proud of him for being able to do that."
He has achieved more in 26 years than most do in 86.
But he has lost a lot, too.
Two of his dearest friends, Adam Petty and Ricky Hendrick, died by the time Vickers was 21 years old. Vickers is a spiritual person, and says his buddies still talk to him every now and then.
"I definitely believe they're still here with me," he said. "Somebody's definitely been looking after me. The Big Man took care of me, and I'm trying to find what I'm supposed to learn out of this. This happened for a reason. There's something I'm supposed to get from this.
"I think I'm understanding more and more in the days that go by. You know, living in the present is a lot of it. I think I needed a break, I needed to slow down a bit."
Vickers admits he lost sight of his blessings. To his defense that's easy to do for these men, who are pushed and pulled and prodded in a million directions by a million people.
"I been in this sport now for seven years, at the Cup level for seven years, and you take it for granted," he said. "I don't anymore. Losing both of those guys was really tough on me. But, then again, I learned a lot from both of those experiences as well.
"I probably wouldn't have had the same feeling laying there in the hospital had those experiences not happened. I took more photos. I didn't have as many photos as I wish I had with Ricky and Adam. I took more photos, I did more things, I lived life to the fullest.
"You know, when someone said, 'Hey, let's go on a motorcycle ride,' I went. I didn't not go because I was worried something may go wrong. I wanted to go skydiving, I went. So learning from those guys, I think made me feel more comfortable with what was going on in the present. Yeah, it sucks, but I really feel like I'm going to walk away from this better."
He can do them now. He has six months off from driving. All he's ever done was race cars, even skipped his prom to wheel a Nationwide car around Bristol, and nearly missed high school graduation because he was racing at Charlotte.
He wants to travel, possibly to Asia and visiting Toyota in Japan. He may hit some Formula One races or the Red Bull Air Race in New York. He'll play some golf and spend time with family and friends. He also wants to see the sport from every angle, to experience what crew chiefs and crew members and spotters and even NASCAR officials endure during competition.
He wants to focus on living in the moment.
That, he says, will make him a better driver. He'll check those things off the list, and be reminded how much he loves racing. That's where his chief concern comes in.
"My biggest concern is perception," he said.
Vickers is concerned that his absence from the track will be construed as not caring.
"That's my biggest concern," he said. "They are going to say, 'Brian doesn't want it … he's not here.' It's just the opposite. I do want it. I want it so bad."
He needn't concern himself with what anyone else thinks. His team knows well his desire to get back.
"We know he's frustrated, and we're doing everything we can to keep him engaged and involved," Frye said. "There's a balance there, too. We don't want him doing too much. The very first thing out of my mouth every morning when we talk is, 'Are you getting enough rest? Your job is to get better. That's your job. We're behind you. Don't forget that.'
"We miss him at track but we know he's doing what he needs to do right now."
The doctors want Vickers to rest, but he says being at the racetrack doesn't compromise his health. For now, there is no immediate danger. Doctors want him to be active but not push too hard. Like most things, it's about balance.
"I was foolish," he said, "because as much as I love this sport, as much as I love racing, you definitely can't race if you're not here.
Credits: http://sports.espn.go.com
Brian Vickers, the whole story
Updated: June 4, 2010, 11:16 AM ET
By
Marty SmithGeoff Burke/Getty Images/NASCARBrian Vickers isn't one to sit back and watch. He's looking for answers to everything he faces, personally and professionally. Vickers grew up 58 miles to the north and east of this spot, in Thomasville, the son of a racer. From the time he strapped on Pampers he was groomed to strap on a helmet and strap into a race car. Driving four wheels to the brink of their collective limit was his life's calling.
And here he sits, on an overcast Saturday morning, discussing at length the unthinkable truth that he, at just 26 years old, faces: His passion has been stripped from him, and he has no say whatsoever in when he'll get it back.
And above that, he's fortunate to even be breathing.
"People have asked me, 'How close were you to dying?' You know, I don't know. The doctors don't know," Vickers said. "With clots, they travel, they move in your system. They go to the wrong place and, yeah, you're done.
"It could have ended really badly, really quick. Or it could have been a couple of days. But, ultimately, had I not gone, it was not going to end well. I mean, there was no question. There was no debate that had I not gone to the hospital, that it was going to turn out worst-case scenario -- it was just when. I got lucky."
It is hair-raising to understand just how lucky.
The truth
Vickers had experienced tingling and numbness in his left hand for a week and pain in the left side of his chest, near his ribs and lung, while lying in bed. It worsened as time progressed, and the night of Monday, May 10, it became nearly unbearable.But he was young, ate well and exercised often, he reasoned. He was in the prime of his life and career. It was nothing, he told himself time and again. He convinced himself it would subside if he ignored it. That night it did.
He managed to make it through Monday night, and on Tuesday he flew to Washington, D.C. The following morning, he would meet with Congressman Alcee Hastings and tour the city with friends before heading to visit soldiers at Walter Reed Hospital.
Tuesday night, though, the pain grew worse yet. Vickers knew he was in trouble, but again brushed off the symptoms. He was terrified to contact a doctor, for fear he'd be told he couldn't race.
He knew the truth, and didn't want to face it.
He popped an Advil PM and rolled back over. Eventually, he fell asleep.
[+] Enlarge
AP Photo/Chuck BurtonReality hit hard when Brian Vickers, right, told the media May 21 at Charlotte Motor Speedway that he was done for the season.
Vickers did awake Wednesday, and he felt better. He would later learn that standing erect repositioned the clots in his lungs, and thus helped the pain. Vickers and his friends went about their business Wednesday morning, touring the Capitol, the White House and the Washington Monument. His lungs burned like fire the entire time. He thought he had a rib injury. It was his lung. And the pain got progressively more intense.
"When I look back at that day … I'm just so lucky," he said.
He wanted to ignore it again, but chose to call his doctor, Scott McNair, in Charlotte. McNair then called Dr. Jerry Petty, NASCAR's chief physician, who suggested Vickers to do the same. Vickers called Dr. Petty for guidance regarding a general physician in D.C. he might visit when his tour of the city was complete.
Petty didn't hesitate. He implored Vickers to get to the emergency room immediately. Vickers, young and hardheaded, felt it was overkill.
He finally agreed to go.
Then he went to tour the Lincoln Memorial.
Then he attended a 3 p.m. business meeting.
"I was so stupid," he said. "The emergency room is just such a hassle."
Vickers didn't go to the ER until Petty and McNair called him back to check on him.
"They knew I wouldn't go," he said. "I just didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want them to tell me I couldn't race this weekend."
Petty had an inkling what Vickers' issue was -- blood clots -- and had spoken to some doctors about the best facility to treat them. Vickers was mere steps from Georgetown Hospital, one of the country's best medical facilities. But for Vickers' condition, Washington Hospital Center was the preferred location. So Petty told Vickers to get in a cab and get to WHC immediately.
Knowing what he knows now, Vickers said he should have just walked into Georgetown. But, again, he was being stubborn. He still felt he'd pulled a muscle. But he jumped in a cab anyway.
It was rush hour, and traffic was at a standstill. So Vickers got out of the cab and walked 12 blocks to WHC. The last three, it began to rain. So he ran.
"That was not very smart," he said. "I didn't want to get wet. And then I really started having a hard time breathing. And right when I got to the hospital, I mean, I was really, really hurting.
"When I got to the hospital after a little three-block jog, I realized, I mean, I'm used to riding a bike for 60 miles. When I couldn't breathe after two-and-a-half-blocks, I was like 'Uh-oh … something's way wrong.' "
When Vickers arrived at the ER he was in tremendous pain. The waiting room was packed and his concern spiked, but when he described his symptoms they rushed him back and tried immediately to give him a CT scan.
He had a difficult time lying down for the scan. The pain was too intense. He couldn't breathe. At best, he could take only shallow breaths.
"The whole time I was trying to think, 'Come on, we can fix this, I'll race this weekend,' " he said. "I was asking all the wrong questions. 'I've got to be at the track Friday. Practice starts at 11.'
"And they were looking like at me like, 'Are you crazy? You need to be asking us if you're going to live. Not what time practice starts.' "
[+] Enlarge
Jason Smith/Getty ImagesBrian Vickers has the full support of Red Bull Racing, including general manager Jay Frye, right.
The unknown
The doctors did their best to break the news to Vickers easily. But he could see it on their faces. He knew it was a serious situation, just didn't want to admit it to himself. Not only wouldn't he race at Dover, he wouldn't race at Charlotte, either. Or Pocono. Or for the next three months. In fact, his season was over."They were trying to work me up to it, knew that I wasn't going to take it very well," he said. "When they said 'blood clots,' I didn't know nearly enough about blood clots when I was told that, but I know a lot now. I did know enough that I knew it was a major problem."
Vickers' team suffers along with him. Not only is he the franchise, he's also a little brother of sorts for Red Bull Racing GM Jay Frye.
"This hurts all of us so much," Frye said. "It's weird. It's one of those deals where he was doing nothing wrong, and it happened out of the blue. It's something you can't predict, and that's got to be hugely frustrating for him. He's frustrated, and were frustrated for him. You ask, 'Why did it happen?' It's something you can't see. He was having pain originally, and thank God he was. That's why Dr. Petty recommended he go to the hospital."
His parents, Clyde and Ramona, were out of town. He admits he missed them. He gave them only vague details so he wouldn't alarm them.
"They wanted to get there right then, and I was like, 'No, no, it's fine, I'll be ok.' There's no immediate danger,' " he said. "I didn't want them to panic, hoping I'd get out soon and get back home."
Three weeks later, Clyde struggles, as any parent would, seeing his son face this situation.
"As a parent it's very concerning to see him go through this, and knowing what it's doing to him to not be in the racecar," Clyde Vickers said. "On the outside I don't think he shows it, but on the inside I can tell it's just eating him alive."
"I was pretty torn up about it, I think, internally," Brian Vickers said. "But I don't show my emotion externally. I just kind of hold it in, process it and move on. I don't think it really hit me until the press conference."
'The funeral'
Vickers walked into the Charlotte Motor Speedway media center on Friday, May 21, and sat at table between Dr. Steve Limentani and Frye.He didn't mince words or dodge questions, but rather told the world he had a blood-clotting condition that would render him unable to race a car for the remainder of the 2010 season. Six months on the shelf. He and his doctors did not know the cause, and he would be on blood thinners for the foreseeable future.
It was at that moment -- when those words left his lips -- that the magnitude of the situation hit him.
"It didn't hit me when the doctors told me," he said. "It hit me when I said it. It was so weird. I wasn't expecting it, this whole process to catch up to me and it was almost like, almost like going through a death, like a family member or a friend.
"Sometimes you don't really have closure, you don't really process what's happened until the funeral. For me, the media center press conference was the funeral. That's when it hit me.
"In fact, I was still in that moment where you analyze, process, deal with that situation, figure out the best way to deal with it. It was just all business. And then, when I was sitting there in that press room -- that's when I could feel in my heart where all the emotion hit me."
Answer man
Vickers is an "answer man." He wants answers to every question. He's an incessant reader. He studies obscure truths about random subjects like space elevators and green initiatives and foreign currency. He reads the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times every day.So imagine his trepidation about a situation that offers no answers.
"For me, everything's black and white, everything's determined," he said. "I want to have a process, and have answers. And there's a lot of answers that I don't have, and there's some that I may never get. But that's just something … maybe that's something I'm supposed to learn."
Porter Stowell, Vickers' buddy, was with Vickers that day. He toured DC with him. He ran to the hospital with him in the rain. He sat with Vickers when doctors brought the news.
"Throughout the whole time he wanted answers. The only time he complained is when he wasn't getting straight answers," Stowell said. "It takes a while for you to own your new condition. I thought Brian did that really fast, the whole process of denial or 'I'm not going to race.' He embraced his new reality very quickly."
"I was upset about it, but it wasn't going to change. So I had to accept it and evaluate it, make a decision and move on," Vickers said.
with Marty Smith |
|---|
| Do you have a question for ESPN NASCAR analyst Marty Smith? Go to
Smith's SportsNation page to submit your question or comment for Marty,
and check back regularly for the column in which he will provide the
answers. Ask Marty |
"It's funny, I go to the hospital in Washington and it's all business," Vickers said. "They ask every question they have to ask, every procedure, doesn't matter whether they think they know the answer to it. They're like, 'Were you in a car accident? Have you been around smoke? Have you been in a car for a long period of time? Have you been on long flights?' I was like, 'Yes!' They were like, 'To which one?' I said, 'All of them.' "
The biggies are the hereditary tests, the predisposition testing. If Vickers' condition was hereditary, he'd be inclined to take blood thinners for the rest of his life. Racing is not an option for a driver on blood thinners.
So far, all hereditary testing is negative.
"That's great news," he said. "Every test that comes back negative, that creates more questions. But at the same time it answers a lot of questions. The immediate concern was, like Factor 5 and some of these other tests, would mean I was going to be on blood thinner for the rest of my life."
The blood thinners are keeping Vickers out of the car. A high-impact crash while on blood thinners could result in an inability to stop internal bleeding.
"They can't get to it, if you hit your head and you bust a blood vessel, it'll kill you," he said. "You can't stop it, at least if you can't get to the hospital in a certain amount of time."
Blood thinners help prevent new clots. They do not dissipate those already in the body. The body has to break down existing clots naturally.
"The blood thinner kind of just gives your body a chance to catch up," Vickers said. "That's why it takes so long. There's no magic pill to make them go away."
Vickers' forthright approach made his competitors reevaluate their perspectives, too.
"The way I see things, I know at some point I'll retire," said Jimmie Johnson, one of Vickers' closest friends. "I don't know how, why, or when. We all have that reality, that there's an ending-point out there. You dream of it being a glorious swan song, but you just don't know.
"I dont think anyone's thought it through in great detail. And so you put Brian in the situation he's in -- in his heart he knows he's healthy and young and very hopeful they'll figure out what's causing the problem, so he can find his way back into the car.
"As time goes on, whatever the situation is, if he can't be in the car … that reality over the next few months and year … that reality will be much more difficult for him to handle. I admire his persepctive right now, and how he's handling it. I tried to imagine it was me. I can't. I can't imagine going through that."
But Vickers will not sit idle and wait. Like every facet of his life, he seeks answers.
"I'm certainly proud of his talent, and what he can do with a racecar if everything is like it's supposed to be," Clyde Vickers said of his son. "But I'm also proud that he is intelligent, and he reads books and he tries to learn, and he's very smart and has a lot of business savvy about him.
"That's like this situation he's going through with the blood and the clots -- he's reading books and magazine articles and talking to doctors all over the country. And I know is he's trying to absorb all that knowledge so he can deal with it. I'm very proud of him for being able to do that."
Those he's loved
Vickers is the 2003 Nationwide Series champion. He has a couple of Cup wins. He made the 2009 Chase. He has more money than he'll ever spend, his own plane and several residences. He is a superstar.He has achieved more in 26 years than most do in 86.
But he has lost a lot, too.
Two of his dearest friends, Adam Petty and Ricky Hendrick, died by the time Vickers was 21 years old. Vickers is a spiritual person, and says his buddies still talk to him every now and then.
"I definitely believe they're still here with me," he said. "Somebody's definitely been looking after me. The Big Man took care of me, and I'm trying to find what I'm supposed to learn out of this. This happened for a reason. There's something I'm supposed to get from this.
"I think I'm understanding more and more in the days that go by. You know, living in the present is a lot of it. I think I needed a break, I needed to slow down a bit."
Vickers admits he lost sight of his blessings. To his defense that's easy to do for these men, who are pushed and pulled and prodded in a million directions by a million people.
"I been in this sport now for seven years, at the Cup level for seven years, and you take it for granted," he said. "I don't anymore. Losing both of those guys was really tough on me. But, then again, I learned a lot from both of those experiences as well.
"I probably wouldn't have had the same feeling laying there in the hospital had those experiences not happened. I took more photos. I didn't have as many photos as I wish I had with Ricky and Adam. I took more photos, I did more things, I lived life to the fullest.
"You know, when someone said, 'Hey, let's go on a motorcycle ride,' I went. I didn't not go because I was worried something may go wrong. I wanted to go skydiving, I went. So learning from those guys, I think made me feel more comfortable with what was going on in the present. Yeah, it sucks, but I really feel like I'm going to walk away from this better."
The Interim
Vickers fully expects to return to Sprint Cup competition. He even declared he'd come back in February 2011 and win the Daytona 500. He hopes to return stronger physically and mentally and be fitter to excel. The arduous, down-to-the-minute structure of a Cup driver's schedule prevented his ability to experience many things socially he'd long yearned to.He can do them now. He has six months off from driving. All he's ever done was race cars, even skipped his prom to wheel a Nationwide car around Bristol, and nearly missed high school graduation because he was racing at Charlotte.
He wants to travel, possibly to Asia and visiting Toyota in Japan. He may hit some Formula One races or the Red Bull Air Race in New York. He'll play some golf and spend time with family and friends. He also wants to see the sport from every angle, to experience what crew chiefs and crew members and spotters and even NASCAR officials endure during competition.
He wants to focus on living in the moment.
That, he says, will make him a better driver. He'll check those things off the list, and be reminded how much he loves racing. That's where his chief concern comes in.
"My biggest concern is perception," he said.
Vickers is concerned that his absence from the track will be construed as not caring.
"That's my biggest concern," he said. "They are going to say, 'Brian doesn't want it … he's not here.' It's just the opposite. I do want it. I want it so bad."
He needn't concern himself with what anyone else thinks. His team knows well his desire to get back.
"We know he's frustrated, and we're doing everything we can to keep him engaged and involved," Frye said. "There's a balance there, too. We don't want him doing too much. The very first thing out of my mouth every morning when we talk is, 'Are you getting enough rest? Your job is to get better. That's your job. We're behind you. Don't forget that.'
"We miss him at track but we know he's doing what he needs to do right now."
The doctors want Vickers to rest, but he says being at the racetrack doesn't compromise his health. For now, there is no immediate danger. Doctors want him to be active but not push too hard. Like most things, it's about balance.
"I was foolish," he said, "because as much as I love this sport, as much as I love racing, you definitely can't race if you're not here.
Credits: http://sports.espn.go.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)