It Breaks My Heart

My dad fell tonight and me and my mom had to get him onto his bed and this isn't the first and as sad as this is to say I'm sure that it won't be the last time that my dad has fallen. And it's so hard for me to be so young and have parents that's so much older then I am especially with my dad because he's actually eleven years older then my mom. He's seventy eight years old and my mom is sixty seven years old and I'm only twenty nine years old, so you do the math. I'm way to young to have parents as old as mine are, especially with my dad. My parents are literally old enough to be my grandparents and my dad is almost old enough to be my great grand father.

But my whole point is that it's so hard seeing my dad get to this age with me being so young, to the point where he can't hardly walk. Where he's now falling sometimes, in and out of the hospital every once and again. These things aren't something that I feel like I should have to deal with at my age, these aren't things that most people have to deal with until they are twice my age. So for me to have to deal with these types of things at such a young age is so hard at times. And the things that I have to worry about when it comes to my dad especially I shouldn't have to worry about at twenty nine years old.
I worry the most about him living to see my son be ten years old and that's a scary thought for me and most twenty nine year old people don't have to worry about that with their parents. Because their parents aren't anywhere near as old as my parents are. Then I worry if my dad will live to see me get married and be able to walk me down the aisle, I think about things like this at times. And I have to because the reality of it is that my dad is seventy eight years old, he'll be sevety nine in a few months. So the chances of him living even another ten years are slim, I mean let's be honest.
And I can't be in denial about this, I need to be prepared for that day when my dad is no longer here with me.
I don't want to be in denial right now and God forbid he goes and I'm mentally not prepared when I had time to prepare myself for the reality of things. Even though my dad is in good shape compared to a lot of other people his age, I still have to be real with myself. He's almost eighty years old and he's NOT going to get any younger. And that's sadly just the reality of it and the cards that I was dealt as hard as it may be  but I wouldn't wish this on anybody my age. Times like this it hits me hard and I'm forced to deal with the reality of what's to come for me. But I do think that my dad has a lot more time left on this earth but I don't know how much more but I do know that it's a little, I'm hoping a lot longer. I just pray that God let's him at least see my son turn ten, which will be in three years and anything past that would be a bonus to me!